Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Rough Day

Well, so much for trying to update this more often, I think I am getting worse! I am feeling so low today, my Mum keeps ringing but I really don't feel up to talking to anyone..its all I can manage to get up and get the kids sorted out for the day. Charlie is being really good, I think he knows I am not feeling good as he keeps coming up to me to give me cuddles and kisses. I'm not even sure I know why I feel so bad today, nothing in particular has happened, I think it is more a culmination of stresses lately. I feel so tired and just want to hide under the duvet, but I must keep a 'face' on or the girls will be worried when they come home from school. It doesn't help that the local childrens nursery has bought a drum for the kids and it has been played with non-stop for 2 days....outside and the banging reverberates around the houses, even with the windows shut, it is driving me insane. I can cope with the general noise of children, laughing and squealing (thats quite nice in a way) but this......this is too much! I don't want to complain but I really don't know how to block it out. Any ideas will be much appreciated.

Friday, 10 April 2009

Am I being a complete technophobe?!

Ok, I decided to join facebook, it turns out I already had but had forgotten, sorted the profile thingy and have 1 friend who I went to school with. I have no idea what to do now? How do I find people?? How do I talk to them? I am thinking that I must be a complete doofus....everyone else seems to manage it but sit me in front of it...and I have noooo idea???? If anyone out there can explain in simple terms for my useless brain, that would be fab! lol

This week has been a bit like a rollercoaster, at the start we had a letter saying that Lucy got into the secondary school we wanted, after appealing after the one she was given, and then I won a brand new cooker!! I couldn't believe it, I don't think I have ever won anything before. Just waiting now to see when we can have it delivered. Charlie feeling a lot better now, his steroids have helped and he is taking his inhalers. Lucy is having her first sleepover at her friends, I am missing her so much, she is my little star! Jess has been really good today, which is nice to see, she can be very 'challenging'! Its so nice when things are calmer. Had a therapy session today which went well. Was nice not to end up in tears for once. I may save her box of tissues yet!!

I will aim to get around to updating this more often, hopefully it will stop me lying in bed at night with a million things whizzing around at a hundred miles an hour. It can whizz around the internet instead!

Saturday, 28 March 2009

Glad today is nearly over.

Charlie had been up most of last night, unable to breathe properly. He couldn't stop coughing and Steve & I were awake for most of the night at one time or another. After beginning to vomit after we got up I rang the doctors to find they couldn't fit him in, all the emergency appointments had gone....3 minutes after they opened the phone do people book them so quickly. We ended up taking him to hospital where they said he had a chest infection and was also wheezing quite badly. They put him on a nebuliser which was awful, he was so brave and sat as good as gold holding the mask over his face (at only 2 I was so proud of him) I think it was me that found it harder watching him struggling to get even little breaths in and out. After the nebuliser he was much better and I took him home. Later on this afternoon he deteriorated rather quickly so Steve & I took him back. The wheezing was worse and the doctor said he was having an asthma attack and put him back on the nebuliser. She did suggest keeping him in, but we said we'd take him home and see how he goes. He's coughing again and beginning to wheeze so I don't know if we will have to take him back. Fingers crossed he gets better. I can't bear to see him suffer, he had a tough start to life and I know he is a little toughie deep down, but I worry about him so much. Steve is so upset, he was asthmatic from birth and feels responsible as it can be heriditary, but I wouldn't ever blame him and neither would Charlie. Little man is stirring again, so I'd best go for now.

Friday, 27 March 2009

Another busy day

Another early start today, and last school run of the week. Took Charlie to meet my mum and sister for coffee at the local Waitrose, had a nice little chat together over a cappucino. Charlie has started trying to say my sisters name, but instead of Natalie it is coming out as Natty, which is quite sweet really. He wanted to go home with Mum, and as she was free today she said she'd have him. Got home to find Steve was ripping out all the old (and rubbish) sealant from around the bath so he could replace it and stop it leaking through onto the kitchen wall. Decided to get on with sorting out the 'Save Our Date' magnets for our wedding, and got as far as opening the pack, before I found other stuff that needed more urgent attention. Letters to write, send, bills to sort and then the milkman arrived. Bit embarrasing as my purse was empty, so will have to pay him next week.

Spoke to my sister about having my niece overnight next Friday, and she said she could as long as she behaved in the meantime....apparantly at Brownies she decided to cover her long blonde hair with soap suds when she should have been washing up! Why?? Who knows, she certainly doesn't!!

Managed to get to see Lucy finish her Cross Country County Comp, she came 2nd in her school for the girls, and for the county girls, she was 46th out of 180. We were so proud of her, and we were clapping so hard and yelling when she crossed the line. We stood with our friends and we were all shouting for our daughters. It was flipping cold there, but was well worth it. Got home just before the heavens opened.

Am so tired now, feel I've hardly stopped all day, Jess & Lucy will be out tomorrow with Dad, so just be 3 of us at home, will try and get as many jobs done as I can, but really need to take some time out too. Hopefully Charlie will sleep tonight and I won't have a repeat of last night when he ended up in our bed. First time in 7wks though, so I shouldn't complain.

Well, will get back to watching Alien, haven't paid much attention so really have no idea whats what.....may choose to have a giggle at the shopping channels instead!

Thursday, 26 March 2009

Long & Difficult Day

I should make more of an effort to remember things! I completely forgot I had set up this blog, it was only someone on Twitter mentioning blogging that I remembered! Am so forgetful it is unreal, I know I have a medical reason for it, but sometimes it really gets me down, I try to laugh about it, but every so often it gets a bit too much.

Well, today was a difficult day as I had to go to court as my ex is insisting on access to our girls. Both girls are adamant that they don't want to see him, which I have told him time and time again but he just won't listen. He has emotionally abused them, bullied them and after threating one of them I stopped the contact. He was controlling and emotionally abusive to me, and sitting opposite him in court was so hard, I felt so sick, and dizzy. First part is over though, we now have a 12wk wait for a report from CAFCASS on the girls, and they will talk to us too. Luckily my sister came with me today, and although she wasn't allowed into court, it helped so much to know she was outside waiting. We are due back in court in July and I really hope that will be the end of it all. I really don't know how much I can take.

On a brighter note, I have signed the girls up for Karate lessons which start on April 4th, they are both quite looking forward to it. Lucy is particularly excited! She can't wait to start and was most annoyed she can't start sooner. Jess has agreed to give it a go, but I think at 12, she is at the age where she is not allowed to show any enthusiasm for anything!

Apparantly, my Grandad, who has Alzheimers is getting worse and going downhill, he barely eats and is so thin and drawn I am really concerned for him. He has been ill for about 6yrs, and he is now deteriorating rapidly.

Well, I will leave this for now, am going to pop onto Twitter and see if I can link the two!

Thursday, 26 February 2009

Here's hoping for a rest!

Have finally managed to get my daughter's birthday present. After trekking around the town, I've had no luck and decided to drive the 25miles to Milton Keynes. Lucy is mad on LEGO and they do have a LEGO shop there. I was in luck, lots to choose from and even bumped into my sister (who lives in Northampton like me) was a complete surprise but we managed to find time to have a coffee together. As she works, and I run around after my 3 (and my fiance) it was nice for us to stop for once and chat. I am saddened to hear of the death of Wendy Richard today, and I really feel for her family and close friends. She was certainly very brave and dignified. My fiance was working overnight last night and Lucy ended up in bed with me, she hates him being away overnight and finds it hard to sleep, hopefully she will sleep tonight, but then there are 2 more children, so one of them may well end up with me too!! Will I ever get the duvet to myself!! lolIts my birthday on Sunday and Lucy's on Monday. I will never forget spending my birthday in labour with her.....36hrs and she still refused to come out! I think she makes up for her laziness now as she never stops...talking or moving about! 4/5 weeks to go til the Easter hols, the girls have only been back at school for 4 days and are already looking forward to the next break!Maybe on Sunday I will get a lie in.........maybe? I live in hope!! lol


All new to this and really have no idea what I am doing! I guess it would be good to write down all the ups and downs life brings(and there have been many) and be able to look back on it all. Did try to write a diary, but due to problems with my memory (will explain sometime) I kept forgetting where I left it! Have just celebrated my son's 2nd birthday and he is currently very busy with all his new toys. Spend my life running around after everyone, so am looking for something that is just for me...and maybe a way to maintain some sort of sanity....although I reckon all that flies out of the window when you have kids. Bit of a quieter day today, which is rare, although there are still many things on my 'to do list' but am gradually crossing things off. Hope this all works as I'm hoping!